Once I pick a topic, it's usually easy for everything to fall into place. Not with this topic though. It is baptized in emotion and requires a delicacy and tactfulness I doubt I aptly posses. Plus I am guilty of enjoying the comfort of being politically correct, it's safe. But we need to have especially the difficult conversations. The obligation is ours, so here goes.
Will Smith in response to the #BlackLivesMatterand disseminate ills at the click of a finger. Movement said "racism is not getting worse, it is being recorded." I guess this is true of most atrocities. Our accessibility to tech has made it easy to record and disseminate ills at the click of a finger.
Pictures showing the face of a victim of GBV. Yes, they're gory, don't look away, this is the reality of many women.
"Gender-based violence is a phenomenon deeply rooted in gender inequality, and continues to be one of the most notable human rights violations within all societies." Both sexes experience GBV though women and girls bear the brunt. "It includes, but is not limited to, physical, financial, sexual, and psychological harm." Statistics on GBV, femicide, and/or related to misogyny are appallingly very high. The manifestation of these physical symptoms show there has been something underneath that has lurked and festered unnoticed and unattended.
"Inequality is systemic and deeply entrenched in institutions, cultures and traditions." In the African context, lobola not always is a premise for entitlement that nurtures abuse. A woman then becomes a commodity of sorts, not accorded humane treatment in the name of "I paid dowry" for you. They become prone to ostracisation from their own families who do not accord them refuge mainly because they do not wish to reverse the dowry transactions. Gain is prioritised over their wellbeing and this leaves women prone to abuse. You may be wondering, but GBV isn't singular to Africa, it's a blight on all societies. Patriarchy in this regard becomes the premise that births inequality, entitlement and toxic masculinity among other toxic traits.
You might say, no, the individual needs to take responsibility. Absolutely, they need to. However, the individual did not sprout in a vacuum. "It takes a society to raise a child." Well, patriarchy raised this problem child, molded them, inculcated the norms and notions that have led us here. It doesn't only do that, it also teaches women and girls to play second fiddle and ostracises them for not keeping their heads down. Socialisation is a significant part of our learning process as human beings. Are patriarchy and traditions/cultures the only demons, no, but they are the prime ones. Why am I going on about patriarchy and traditions? GBV is mainly rooted in gender inequality, if we can dismantle the pillars that uphold inequality, we stand a good chance of crippling this evil.
So how do we effect change to the status core? To aptly tackle the predicament, we need to wither it at the roots. Cultures and traditions are like parasites, they cannot survive without the host bodies, we are their conduits. It's high time we introspected and scrutinised what we pass on. Its high time we discard repressiveness in the name of culture. Shake the pillars that uphold inequality, disrupt the system with its deeply entrenched bias. We are the systems, there isn't a physical entity called "system." When we change, we change everything. Have a society that raises responsible men who respect, love and honour women. A society that celebrates and isn't intimidated by women. It's important that we raise a man who isn't toxic because he then purges everything he becomes part of. If penitentiary institutions were vaccines for crime we wouldn't have any when they built the first one. Hope, I believe rests in us as humanity being able to some extent, mold and raise conscientious human beings.
I read an article on how a 3-months old baby was molested and later dumped, left fighting for her life. Sometimes we just have to realised the devil is a person; human beings are the ones that perpetrate evil, not sprites. Such diabolical acts should be punished appropriately by a system that delivers justice swiftly to the bereaved. It's my opinion however, that no harsh prison sentence will restore what that little angel lost, nothing can undo the trauma she has suffered and will have to live with, why does she have to settle for a semblance of justice? Isn't true justice having a society with men that view a 3-months old baby as just that; a vulnerable cherub and not in some perversive manner? So that's why I'm advocating for this type of change. The moment we start talking harsh sentences we have lost, a woman, a girl has been violated, why do they have to settle for a semblance of justice and live with the awful trauma?
Yes, we hear you. All this sounds good theoretically. What do you have to say for now? Women are disappearing and dying on a daily basis. The heartbreaking truth is no matter how benevolent we are, we cannot change anyone. It has to be an innate desire for change. Empathetic legislation that gives the bereaved some semblance of justice is the next best option right. It's excruciating though when we deny women even secondary justice. It's incumbent on every man to make every woman in your sphere of influence feel safe as we shift the status core. Our leaders ought to speak and act now, (don't hold your breath).
We break for the week today. Thank you for walking with me this week 🤗🤗. See you on Monday 😍😘.